Thursday, August 28, 2008

Arachnophobia blues

After our second night in our house (tangent: have we mentioned that in the history of uncomfortable beds, ours is likely the 3rd or 4th most uncomfortable? possibly a post on this later)...but anyway after waking up from our second night, I awoke today to a reality version of the b-movie, Arachnophobia.

I came home at lunch to find a bleary eyed Cassie, eyes red and damp from melting down over finding a spider in her towel after showering. Oh, and the millions and millions of spiders we have in our house. My superhero wife spent the morning vacuuming the windows and crown moulding, wiping out cracks and crags above, behind, in-between, and below most every object, doing her best to rid our humble establishment of the very living beings who ultimately protect our living environment from various critters, pin-head sized or otherwise. Only trouble is now, she says is that we have a spider population equivalent to the state of California (or Great Britain as they call it in Great Britain).

So upon coming home at lunch, Cassie explained her toils to me, breath interrupted, and in one motion, grabbed a paper towel, lunged across the room, and smashes her fist into the wall, all while screaming 'Victory!!!!!' She opened the rag to reveal her spoils......a spider the size of a grain of sand....and a fat one at that. Turns out that I married an expert mini-spider hunter....which of course I find very attractive.

Anyway, this evening while having dinner and settling in afterwords, we had multiple periods of increased heart-rate....quivering lips....complete paralysis....upon discovering another...and another.....and another....and another spider.....turns out that we really have a lot of spiders in this joint.

We went to the UK version of check out the local, economically-priced wares, namely spider cianide, tarantula toxin, arachnid anthrax....where there was a complete lack of pest control products. Coming from a country where we love our chemicals, We were truly surprised not to find any pest control products of any sort.....but we did buy some clothes pins, cling wrap, anti-bacterial wipes, and a toilet brush....which are great....but still are not creepy-crawly killers.

So now we are off to bed....where we are sure to encounter night-terrors of the eight legged kind. To those of you who know what I am talking about.....thank you for your prayers....goodnight.

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