Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Torn between two places

Crosby & I are winding down our US trip here within the next few days. It has been a great visit although it has gone by WAY TOO FAST! We surely do miss Scott while we are here but it is so nice to be back home. Every time I am back home, I realize how much I really am a "home body." Scott knows it so he is good about encouraging me to come home and spend time with my family. I miss them terribly but I know my parents have given me good roots & wings, which is why they have been so supportive of our stint abroad for Scott's job. It is the right thing for his career at the moment, and has provided a foundation for our marriage that we never could have experienced with another path, but each time I am back home, I realize how nice it is to be here too, and I often think of what it would be like if I actually lived near my family (unfortunately not quite a reality for us anytime soon).

However there is a part of me that feels like England is also our home, and so I feel torn between the two places.

I know that if we were to be sent back "home" to the US anytime soon, I would miss England terribly. We have a life there now with established routines, friends, and great experiences every day. It has been a life changing experience for so many reasons.

Now with Crosby in our lives, it just seems more difficult to be away from our families, but at the same time when we are home in the US, it seems difficult to be away from Scott and from our daily routine / nuclear family in England. I wonder if it will ever get easier to leave "home"---- In whichever direction that is?

Scott says I always get sentimental when I am about to leave my parents and once I return back to our daily routine, I am fine. This may be the case (he knows me well) but I do think now that we have our own family, I feel more torn between the two places than I ever have been before.

I just know it's a weird spot to be in at the moment. I hate the thought of having to leave my parents and go back to England in a few days, but at the same time I hate the thought of one day having to move back to the US away from our life in England.....
Crosby luckily is happy on either side of the pond (although probably gets much more attention here in the US!) She has been happily adapting to life in the US with her morning dose of cheerios.


For Gluten Sake said...

except when Aunt Carrie forgets to give her Cheerios. OOps!

Kris said...

Oh dear, I know exactly what you are feeling. I cried my little eyes out when I said goodbye to my parents and as I sat on the plane waiting to leave Salt Lake City. But it's been so great being back in England and getting back into my routine.