Having just returned from a trip to the US for a week, I cannot help but feel a bit displaced. I know the US is "home" and there is no question that we will return there someday to live permanently. However during this visit back to America, flying into Chicago did not feel like we were coming home, it felt more like we were visiting the city for a while. Right now, it feels like our home is in England - and I feel a bit of comfort when we land here and drive home surrounded by fields of cows and sheep on either side of the motorway.
I think part of this displacement is a function of time. We have now lived in England for just over two years. We are settled. We have established friendships, routines, work relationships, know where to eat out - we are vested into a life here. The things I once moaned and complained to no end about, have now come to be part of the charm of life over here.....some of the things I realized when we were back in the US last week.
When we first moved over here, I longed for more convenience....A store to be open past 5:30pm, a proper mall nearby, or even a store semi-resembling a Target. Unfortunately none were found. However, while I was back in the US, I had all of these things (plus more!) at my disposal. My mom, sister and I were at the mall shopping until 9 o'clock at night, made multiple Target runs and could even do that until 10pm if I wanted to! While it was great to have these conveniences back for the week, it made me realize how nice and quiet our evenings are here in England. Scott & I spend more time together here because neither of us are running around, late at night, after a long day of work - because there is no opportunity to do so. While it still does frustrate me at times with the lack of convenience here, it has made me realize how much I value the time for families in this culture.
Further, I noticed other things while I was home this time. Usually when I walk into a store here and the shop keeper asks me if I need any help, I respond politely, and the shop keeper notices that I am not from this country. My accent makes me an outsider or different in England. I had to readjust to the fact that back at home, I was easily able to go unnoticed and no one asked me why I was in the country, did I live here, and what brought me here? I sounded like everyone else and therefore of course I fit in there.
So, while we do not sound like we fit in here in England, we have adapted to more parts of the culture here than I ever thought we would. We have become somewhat woven into the fabric of life here and quite enjoy it for now. We know we want to eventually return "home" to the US, but I now am starting to wonder if we will have to re-adjust to life back in the US when we return? And will it ever be the same for us as it was before we moved overseas?