Torn between two places

Crosby & I are winding down our US trip here within the next few days. It has been a great visit although it has gone by WAY TOO FAST! We surely do miss Scott while we are here but it is so nice to be back home. Every time I am back home, I realize how much I really am a "home body." Scott knows it so he is good about encouraging me to come home and spend time with my family. I miss them terribly but I know my parents have given me good roots & wings, which is why they have been so supportive of our stint abroad for Scott's job. It is the right thing for his career at the moment, and has provided a foundation for our marriage that we never could have experienced with another path, but each time I am back home, I realize how nice it is to be here too, and I often think of what it would be like if I actually lived near my family (unfortunately not quite a reality for us anytime soon).

However there is a part of me that feels like England is also our home, and so I feel torn between the two places.

I know that if we were to be sent back "home" to the US anytime soon, I would miss England terribly. We have a life there now with established routines, friends, and great experiences every day. It has been a life changing experience for so many reasons.

Now with Crosby in our lives, it just seems more difficult to be away from our families, but at the same time when we are home in the US, it seems difficult to be away from Scott and from our daily routine / nuclear family in England. I wonder if it will ever get easier to leave "home"---- In whichever direction that is?

Scott says I always get sentimental when I am about to leave my parents and once I return back to our daily routine, I am fine. This may be the case (he knows me well) but I do think now that we have our own family, I feel more torn between the two places than I ever have been before.

I just know it's a weird spot to be in at the moment. I hate the thought of having to leave my parents and go back to England in a few days, but at the same time I hate the thought of one day having to move back to the US away from our life in England.....

Crosby luckily is happy on either side of the pond (although probably gets much more attention here in the US!) She has been happily adapting to life in the US with her morning dose of cheerios.

Shopping til she Drops!

Crosby has been happily riding in various shopping carts since we have been back in the US. I realized she has not been in a shopping cart in the front seat bit until now. We don't really go to the grocery store too often in the UK (since we do the online grocery ordering) and when I do nip into the store, I usually just take Crosby in her car seat and place it straight into the cart. Besides the grocery store, we don't really go shopping as often in England because A/ there are not nearly as many big box retailers in the UK as there are in the US and B/ if we go to the store, we usually just walk to our town's high street and so Crosby is typically just in her stroller.

Since we have been back in the US, Crosby has fallen in love with riding in shopping carts. Strange? Possibly but she seems to be a very social baby so she enjoys being in stores, sitting up high in the carts, and people watching until her heart's content. I really cannot get over how much attention she gets at every store we enter! She is one happy baby when she is riding in the shopping cart....

Riding in the shopping cart at Kohl's. She had so much fun watching the other shoppers and trying to reach out to touch all of the clothes, towels, etc. from her little shopping cart!

Back in America

Crosby & I are currently spending some quality time back in the US. Scott has been working long crazy hours lately and has had quite a bit of travel, so we decided it was a good opportunity to come home for a bit. It seems to be a win-win for both parties. I am getting some much need R&R, since I am home with my parents, Crosby is getting lots of good attention, Gram & Pa are glad to have us both home for a bit, and Scott is able to work long hours and travel without worrying about his two girls being on our own.

When Scott travels for work over the weekends, it gets really tough for me to be on my own all the time. It is at those times in particular that the distance of being so far away from my family really hits home. If we were back in the US, it would be easy just to catch a short flight or drive a few hours to go home for a few days for a break, but having to fly over 4,000 miles with an infant by myself is a scope of a different magnitude! So, in order to really make the cost of the trip and the distance of the trip worthwhile, it is best to come home for at least a few weeks so we can actually enjoy our time here without fighting jet lag the entire time.

Once we get through that VERY LONG and hairy day of travel, it is so nice to be home and to stay put for a while, without anything pressing to do, and to have extra eager helping hands around. We have had a few outings since we have been home, but overall we are really just trying to enjoy some R&R in the good old USA.

Entertaining a 7 month old on a 13 hour cumulative plane journey was not as easy as it was when she was only 3 months old....after the connection in Newark, Crosby was not as impressed with sitting in her car seat for yet another plane ride, but we did survive (other passengers might not have been pleased with us).

Luckily when we landed in STL, she was all smiles and no one ever would have known she spent the majority of the last flight screaming most of the way!

There was a parenting failure on the morning that we left the UK. Scott took Crosby's favorite stuffed animal "winky" out of her crib and I thought he brought it with her when he put her in the car seat to go the airport. Unfortunately he forgot the animal and did not realize the importance of this stuffed being. It is "the thing" Crosby snuggles with every time she goes to sleep....so it is a necessary travel companion. Luckily Scott is a good Dad and thought ahead to call my Mom in the US as soon as we left to notify her about the forgotten stuffed animal. Since Winky came from STL, my mom was able to go find another one and Crosby was SO excited and happy to be reunited with the animal upon our arrival in STL!

Since arriving in the US, Crosby has tried lots of new foods while sitting in my old high chair! She loves it and I love it too. I wish I could transport it back to the UK with us because it is sturdy, wooden and much nicer looking than our plastic high chair we bought in England (my irritation with high chairs is a subject for another day). At least she'll get to use it every time we come home. Crosby is enjoying the American foods, just as I am....she has tried Cheerios (which she loves - they do not sell plain Cheerios in the UK, they all have sugar coatings so I won't buy them for her), she has had USDA aged steak (ground up), and she has tried the little "puffs" sold for babies here. Her hand-eye coordination is really improving and she loves to feed herself.

We went to visit Pa / my Dad at his office one afternoon for our daily outing. Since he runs a family business, it is important that Crosby knows about it from an early age in case she ever wants to work there!

In the back garden of the office, my Dad has a vegetable garden growing. We picked a tomato and Crosby tried her first one from there. She seemed to like it!

Crosby also made another "well child" visit to one of my old pediatricians. She was given a great bill of health and is growing very well! She is at the 100% for her height and 96% for her weight. Interestingly enough, since our last visit to the US pediatrician (back in May), The American Academy of Pediatrics has changed its stance on the introduction of foods for babies. Now, much more in line with how the UK approach has been, babies after 6 months of age can eat almost everything and anything (except honey) - including fish, strawberries, nuts, etc. Apparently the guidelines change every so often when new research comes out and so now we are introducing more foods to Crosby right away as the academy suggests.

And of course since we are staying with my parents, Gram / my Mom has Crosby already working on her chores, manners, and good behavior! Although Crosby doesn't have any teeth just yet, my Mom is already teaching her that she needs to brush her teeth multiple times a day!

Visitors

At the end of August, Scott's mom and brother came to England to visit us on the front end of their two week European holiday. I think Grandma Cris & Uncle Matt enjoyed the one-on-one time with little Miss Crosby just as much as she did! Although we didn't do much sightseeing due to Crosby's nap schedule and early bedtime, we spent lots of quality time at home so Crosby was in her element, giggling, smiling and cooing away for her special visitors.

Grandma Cris & Crosby using the computer to skype with Grandpa Craig back in the US one morning. Crosby seems to know her way around the computer already - scary!!!At lunch at a local English pub - Uncle Matt and Grandma trying to keep Crosby entertained before our food arrived.Afternoon play time with Grandma Cris.Snuggles with Grandma Cris while Crosby was sporting her baby Uggs (a gift from some friends in Australia - straight from the source!) on a fall-ish day.All smiles with Uncle Matt!

Barbados

I am very behind in updating our travels from this summer. August seemed like a whirlwind! We first had a lovely week in Barbados, then Scott went to the US for nearly two weeks, and then Scott's mom and brother arrived a day after Scott returned for a week's visit. It was a busy time to say the least - going from single parent duties with a jet lagged child to preparing, hosting, cooking, etc. for visitors. By the time September arrived, I was ready for another week in Barbados! Luckily we had a great time in the sun while we were there, so we really enjoyed our trip and made the most of the rest and relaxation at the start of the month.

We went to Barbados to attend the wedding of our friends Beth & BJ who live in London. They had a destination wedding so we decided to make a week's vacation out of it. It was terrific. Not only was the resort lovely and beautiful, but the guests who were attending the wedding were all there for more than just the weekend, so we had a nice time meeting their friends - half of whom were from the UK and half of whom were from the US (and mainly Chicago). Scott & I commented that it felt like our two worlds - our UK life and our US life - were coming together in one place, so we really enjoyed it. Crosby probably loved it the most because she was the only baby who was in attendance for the vacation within the crowd of wedding attendees. To say she received a lot of attention, was an understatement! Luckily she was well behaved and relished in all of the cooing over her.

Our little beach baby! Hanging by the pool on our first afternoon on the island.

Our first full day in Barbados. Scott & Crosby on the balcony of our room at the resort.

Ahh, our lunch view every day....

And my favorite lunch sandwich I had a few times on the island - a flying fish sandwich. Apparently the flying fish is a local favorite and it was tasty!

How Crosby spent her days...on a beach chair, topless, with her stuffed animals. What a life!

The stretch of beach on which the resort was located is apparently one of the nicest on the island. Apparently Beyonce & Rihanna were walking on this very beach the second night we were there. Fancy, right?!?

Although Crosby liked the beach chairs, the ocean was clearly not her thing!

She was even a sport and hung out at the poolside bar with Mom & Dad during happy hour...

But clearly she partied too hard and was asleep by dinner time!

Another day of too much partying on the island for this little babe!

While Scott enjoyed some reading on the balcony of the room, Crosby snoozed in her stroller like a perfect baby.

Swimming in the pool was most definitely one of her favorite parts of this vacation. She loved her little inner tube floatation.

Even without the floatation, she loved the pool.

Such a pretty sight every day.

Relaxing just like Dad under the couch cabana chairs.

The new Mr & Mrs - BJ & Beth at their lovely wedding ceremony near the beach! Congratulations to the happy couple - we were so glad to be there to celebrate!

A Baby in Barbados

We spent the other week in Barbados and it was Crosby's first time to go in the ocean. We thought she would love it, since she loves the pool. Boy were we wrong! As you can see, our sweet (normally very calm daughter) was almost hysterical when Scott tried to take her into the ocean.

Maybe on our next beach vacation she'll like the ocean better...or perhaps she's just like her Mom and likes the beach, but doesn't like the mess of the sand, so she'll happily stay by the pool!

Crosby does Oxford

Today Crosby & I took a little road trip down to Oxford for the afternoon. We had lunch with my cousin and her boyfriend but before we went to lunch we took a brief stroll around the city since it was a lovely day outside.

Crosby in Oxford. Maybe someday in about 20 years she will return here as a student, and I'll have the photo to say "remember when..."

How quickly that feeling fades....

My little stinker baby tonight who is still wide awake at 10pm from jet lag! After she spent an hour screaming in her nursery, I finally brought her downstairs with me, but am making her rest on the couch in the hopes she will soon fall asleep.

Just a few days ago on Monday, we returned from a lovely relaxing and very nice holiday in Barbados and yet somehow the feeling of being completely relaxed and at ease seems to be fading all too quickly.... Nearly 36 hours after we touched back down in England, Scott turned around and flew back to the US for work, leaving Crosby & me here for a bit. It's amazing how quickly all of the laundry from our vacation has formed a huge mound, how tiring it is to be dealing with a very jet-lagged baby who is completely off schedule (and as a result I am off schedule since I was up with her at 11pm, 3am, and 6am again last night/this morning!), and how much I need to do to get things in order for our visitors we have arriving nearly 24 hours after Scott lands back in England next week! Temporary single parenting is part of what I knew I would encounter with Scott's job over here since he is traveling more frequently now.

However, these are most definitely the times when I do wish there was not an ocean between my family and me so I had someone near enough to come visit while Scott was away, or that I could go visit them without enduring a transatlantic flight.

Flying with an Infant

We have encountered many people already who continue to say something along the lines of "I cannot believe you are traveling with an infant!" While, yes, traveling with a child is VERY different and more consuming than traveling solo or just with the two of us, it is part of why we loving living abroad so we would be silly to halt our explorations now. Besides, we hope that if we start traveling with Crosby at a young age she will learn to be a good little traveler as she grows up. At 6 months old, she has already logged over 16,000 miles in the air. I am not sure I logged that many miles in my first 10 years of life!

This past week we went to Barbados to attend the wedding of some (American) friends who live in London. They had a destination wedding and we thought it was a perfect excuse to make a vacation out of it! Since we were not able to just leave Crosby with Grandma & Grandpa near by due to the ocean in between us, she traveled with us. Plus, I am not sure either of us wanted to be away from her for a full week, so we knew she would come with us for this trip; she's still too little to be away from us for too long.

It was almost easier to get to Barbados from the UK than it would have been to get there from the US. We had a direct flight from London Gatwick straight to Barbados. The airline choices were either Virgin Atlantic or British Airways. Unfortunately, we are a United/Continental family, so we didn't have status on either of those airlines that flew to Barbados. We decided to give Virgin Atlantic a shot since we had heard good things about them.

Traveling with Crosby at 6 months old was more difficult than it was at 3 months. Of course I didn't realize how easy it was at 3 months until we flew at 6 months and realized in retrospect, it was a piece of cake at 3 months because she didn't do much at all! While I am sure 6 months is easier than it will be at say 1 year, she is starting to be interested in more things, so sitting still is not always as entertaining for her as it used to be. That being said, Crosby is a terrific traveler so far. She doesn't scream on the planes, she deals well with the pressure of the flights, and overall she is really a good baby. We are very lucky. We also travel with anything and everything we might possibly need in order to be prepared (or should I say I travel with it all since somehow my carry on ends up being Crosby's bag!), so I would like to think that part helps a bit too.

Overall, I am not sure about the hype around Virgin Airlines. We thought it was ok, but now find that having status on one airline carrier makes it difficult to fly any other airlines since the service levels are not as high as they are when you are a preferred customer. While Virgin did offer the complimentary bassinet for babies under 19 lbs, they would not confirm it in advance like Continental & United did for previous flights. Plus this bassinet was basically a cardboard box with plastic lining.

Virgin does offer these nice little welcome bags when you board the aircraft, similar to the business class kits that are offered on other airlines with eye masks, socks, a toothbrush, toothpaste, etc. so that touch was nice. Scott let Crosby play with it all and even dressed her in the gear before putting her in the bassinet!

As you can see, Crosby filled up the entire bassinet, so this was our last transatlantic flight to request and use one of these. She really didn't sleep on this flight because the straps that attached this bassinet to the tray that came down from the wall, were in her face when she was at the bottom of the bassinet. A different set up than the other bassinets we have had where they attach directly to the wall and do not have straps over the main parts.

So, most of the flight was spent on either Dad's lap or Mom's lap. Luckily, Crosby was entertained just by watching the images on Scott's tv screen.

And then when the flight attendants handed out pretzels, Crosby played with the bag for a long time. It made noise and crinkled so it appeared to be a fun toy for her.

The flight was not full on our way over so she even got to sit in her own seat for a while which she enjoyed. Her little stuffed lamb sat on her tray so he didn't get lost.

Finally after about 6 hours of being awake during the flight, she finally got some sleep on Dad's lap!

Let's hope Crosby's good flying record continues for a long time into her future.

The Food Adventure Begins

Today Crosby started solid foods. I gave her sweet potatoes as her first food. As you can see, her reaction was not one of immediate love....

It was rather difficult to capture her very vibrant expressions but I was laughing with each bite she tried to eat and then spit out. You would have thought I were trying to feed her dirt with her uncertainty of the food!

Baby Food

In less than just two weeks Crosby will be six months old and it will be time to start introducing solid foods into her diet. I cannot believe she is nearly 6 months old! I remember thinking I had so much time before I introduced her to food and here it is upon me now. Some people do introduce food a bit earlier to their babies (between 4-6 months) but we have decided to wait the full 6 months because there are some dairy, fish, and egg allergies on Scott's side of the family and my sister was just recently diagnosed with celiac disease. While there is no way to prevent Crosby from inheriting any of these genes that could cause the allergies, I have been advised that breast milk only for the first full six months is the best shot at protection against such issues. So, I have stuck with it and hope it is giving Crosby the best start at a good healthy diet.

We are headed on another family holiday soon and so as soon as we return from that trip, I will begin the food adventures. In order to prepare for Crosby's first foods, I have been scouring the shelves at the grocery store and doing quite a bit of reading online. When I took Crosby to the pediatrician back in the US (at 3 months of age), the doctor gave me this leaflet as a guide to introducing foods into Crosby's diet:

There is quite a list of items to avoid - some until she is ONE year old and others to avoid until she is TWO years old. The other bit of advice listed there (and also given here in the the UK) is that babies should be introduced (early on) to only one food at a time, most especially if there is a history of allergies in the family. I have seen various advice on the "wait time" in between foods - anywhere from 2-4 days before introducing the next "new" food is what I have read.

Now comes the confusing part for me. Here in England, I have not found any plain baby food at the grocery stores - just one food item at a time in baby food form. So, unless everyone makes their own baby food, how is it possible to introduce just one vegetable or one fruit at a time???? (*Minor exception - Ella's organic pouches have just released plain apples, plain pears, and plain mangoes)

As seen at my local grocery store:

The Plum Brand foods - no plain foods there - all mixed varities!

Ella's Kitchen offers a mixed strawberry & apple pouch as a "first food" which is another point of confusion for me since the US pediatrician said no strawberries until age 2. Here, a first food is between 4-6 months. Confusing, right?

And then beyond the "First foods," come the stage 2 foods which are more like little meals for babies. I never thought about the foods in the US before until I started looking at the foods here. These baby foods seem to be very culture specific.

Hence the Fish Pie with mash (very British) and the Beef Stew with Spuds. Sounds like pub fare to me!

Annabel Karmel is considered to be one of the baby food "experts" here in the UK. She is widely known and her books are all over the baby shops and bookstores here. After reading her website, I am now just more confused on which standard I will follow for introducing foods to Crosby. As a prime example, the first photo from my US pediatrician says fish should be avoided until a baby is over 1 year of age. However, Anabel's website has this recipe and information under the foods for 6-9 months age:

It’s important to encourage a liking for fish early on. This Salmon Puree baby food recipe is quick and easy to prepare and combining it with root vegetables is a good way to introduce fish to your baby. Oily fish like salmon, trout, tuna and sardines are especially good as they contain omega-3 essential fatty acids which are very important for visual and brain development. Tinned tuna however does not contain omega 3s only fresh tuna.

Ingredients

200g carrots, topped and tailed and sliced
125g salmon fillet, skinned
60ml orange juice
40g grated Cheddar cheese
a knob of butter
2 tbsp milk

And of course then the baby foods contain fish and other items that I am not sure are in US baby food....

Personally I am a bit disgusted by baby food. My thought is that I don't eat meals out of jars or little packets, so why would I want to give my baby her first foods from them? Fish or lamb sitting on a shelf in a packet? Can it really be that healthy?

So, I am making all of my own baby food so that I know what goes in it and can control the quality of food she eats early on. It is simple to make and I have already made and frozen: peas, sweet potatoes, pears, apples, and mangoes in anticipation of Crosby's first foods. This way I can also introduce one food at a time to ensure we are able to catch any food sensitivities when they occur. There is no guarantee but I hope I am giving her the best start possible. Plus, I want my little girl to be a good, healthy eater which I think includes lots of fresh fruits, vegetables and proteins. We will forge through this next stage as best we can but it is a bit confusing that different countries have different advice for such tiny people. I guess both are probably right and wrong to some extent - after all, both countries continue to grow their population so something is working!

Buckingham Palace Tour

Yesterday my friend Holly & I went into London for the afternoon to go tour the Buckingham Palace State Rooms. The palace only opens for tours once a year while the Queen normally heads north to her residence in Scotland for her summer holiday.

Since this summer season is quickly approaching the 3rd anniversary of our arrival in the UK, I was determined to see the palace state rooms before we leave the island! Scott really did not have a great interest in going to see the palace rooms and luckily Holly's husband wasn't as keen on it either, so we decided to make the journey ourselves.

We booked our tickets in advance (such a key point - allows for VERY minimal queuing) and so we were able to basically walk right up at our specific time slot and began the tour of the state rooms.

So many interesting things to learn about Buckingham Palace beyond just browsing around at the magnificent splendour inside. Buckingham Palace is Queen Elizabeth II's official residence, and has been the official London residence of Britain's sovereign since 1837. The state rooms at the palace have been opening to the public for just the past two decades, since 1993, after a fire at Windsor Castle. Initially the summer opening was a way to pay for the damage at Windsor Castle but the tours have become so popular that the Queen has continued it every summer when she goes to one of her country homes for about 8 weeks.

Buckingham Palace has 775 rooms!!! These include 19 State rooms, 52 Royal and guest bedrooms, 188 staff bedrooms, 92 offices and 78 bathrooms. Buckingham Palace is not only the London home of The Queen; The Duke of Edinburgh, The Duke of York, The Earl and Countess of Wessex, The Princess Royal and Princess Alexandra also have private offices and apartments located within the Palace. Unfortunately we did not get to see these private bedrooms and offices but the state rooms that we did see were quite lovely indeed. No photos were allowed to be taken inside the palace but I did get a few outside...

Everything from the entrance, to the exit, to the temporary restrooms and temporary gift shop were set up specially for the Summer Opening of the State Rooms.

In the gift shop at the end of the tour, mini wedding cakes from William & Kate's wedding were available for purchase. Apparently the British have fruitcake covered in fondant at their wedding for their cake. Not my choice of a cake, but then again I am not British!

The temporary gift shop at the end of the tour.

Holly & me at the end of our tour - the back side of Buckingham Palace.

The highlights from our tour of the state rooms included: Seeing Kate's wedding dress, veil, shoes, tiara, earrings, flower bouquet, and the wedding cake (I wonder if it were a replica cake though?). We also got to see the red room where many of the "official" photos of William & Kate were taken at the palace after their wedding ceremony. It's pretty cool to me to think that whenever I see that photo of them in the future, I will remember walking in that same room of the palace when I went for a visit! The other bit that stood out to me was a "secret door" that the Queen uses to enter one of the state rooms - a short cut for her from her private residence area. After taking the main tour now of the state rooms, I think it would be really cool to tour the back hallways and private residence areas of the palace....but I guess everyone else would want to do that too!